A 70th birthday is a grossly underrated achievement, and one should be honored on this special day of celebration upon reaching such a grand age.
For mothers, coming 70 years of age will be a time of great reflection on their role as a provider and protector. Nothing can beat the feeling of their children expressing a thoughtful and endearing sentiment to them in celebration of this once-in-a-lifetime event to let them know how loved and cherished they are. If you’re unsure what to say, here are some great suggestions to get you started.
Funny 70th Birthday Wishes for Mom
- You’re never too old to enjoy yourself, so throw that walking stick aside, hop in my car and let’s go and splash some of that pension money before the government tries to take it all back.
- People say 70 is the new 40. In that case, I guess it’s time for you to treat yourself to a new motorcycle, some funky new clothes, and a few wild nights of clubbing – better get to it before your 50th!
- When most people think of a mom’s 70th Birthday, they probably picture a little old lady having a quiet meal with her family. They do not know my Mom, aka “The Party Animal.” You’ve done great hiding your wild side from everyone else, Mom. I know you far too well, though, and after this dinner, we’re heading to the bar and reliving your 20s in full swing! Don’t worry about Dad; I’ll make sure he’s fast asleep before we sneak out and celebrate in style!
- Bless the woman that gave birth to the exemplary young individual that wrote this card. On this day, in celebration of the seven decades you have been alive and the hard work you have accomplished, I award you with the most priceless gift of all…ME! I guess you could say that this year my present is my presence. Happy 70th Birthday, Mom.
- Dear Mom, Welcome to the 70’s club. The first rule about the 70’s club is that you do not talk about the 70’s club. The second rule about the 70’s club is that you DO NOT talk about the 70’s club. The third rule is…don’t tell Dad that we’re using the basement to host the 70’s club weekly get-togethers and serving the club members wine from his private collection.
- Happy 70th Birthday, Mom. You can officially maximize your Social Security benefits now and get some more of that free government cheese. Woohoo! Guess the drinks are on you tonight.
- They say age is just a number. I don’t know who “they” are, but I totally agree. So, on that note, I booked a ticket for you to go on an 18-30s clubbing holiday next month so you can party like you’re 21 again! Better start packing your bags, Mom.
- Traits passed down from my dear Mother: Intelligence, good memory, excellent organization skills. Traits passed down from my wonderful Dad: Excessive flatulence, general fatigue, and clumsiness. Thanks for creating the balance that I needed, Mom. Imagine if I’d only got Dad’s traits. I would have been farting profusely and sleepily bumping into things all day. Happy 70th Birthday.
- They say short birthday wishes are the best. HBD Mom.
- Not to sound cheesy, but I don’t give e-dam what anyone says; even at 70, you look absolutely brie-lliant! Hope you have e-mmental time celebrating your Birthday and becoming extra mature.
- Some say that, to live an eventful life, you must travel far and wide, meet different types of people, and have some downright wild adventures. Well, having me sure did save you a lot of time and money because, for the past 70 years, I’ve been your sole provider of the most thrilling lifetime adventure you could have asked for, just by being my crazy old self! Happy 70th Birthday, Mom, and best wishes for the year ahead.
- Happy 70th Birthday, Mom! Say hello to unplanned naps, diminished responsibilities, a lifetime excuse for not socially attending events, and endless daytime tv. Sounds pretty great if you ask me.
- Welcome to the 70 Club! You’ve just won a cash prize of $5,000. To redeem this, please send a $100 processing fee to the bank account specified below:
Your child’s bank account details:
- To my dearest Mom, if I had a dollar for every minute you’ve been alive, I would’ve earned $36,816,480. Unfortunately, no such scheme exists out there, and on that note, any chance I can borrow some money until payday?
- Hero’s come in all shapes, sizes…and ages, apparently. That being said, I would find it highly embarrassing and downright weird if you were to put on a pair of colorful tights and a cape right now and start fighting crime. But hey, you’ll always be my number-one hero without all those things. Happy 70th Birthday to my best friend and protector. Love from your little sidekick.
- Dear Mom, I planned an extraordinarily fabulous birthday celebration for you with all the bells and whistles. I sent a Facebook invite to all of our family and friends. Unfortunately, I accidentally selected “public” instead of “private” when posting the event. Now, a few hundred people are at the front door, ready for a wild party. You and Dad can keep them entertained while I go and buy some birthday cake and drinks.
- Happy Birthday to my beloved mother, the most special person in my life. Don’t read this out loud; my partner thinks they’ve filled that position now, but let’s be honest, my Mom is simply irreplaceable.
Cheeky 70th Birthday Wishes for Mom
- The similarities between a baby and a 70 year old are really astounding. They both sleep about 10-12 hours and need at least 2-3 naps throughout the day. Both kick off with everyone when you don’t get your way. They both make a mess when they eat and need to start wearing diapers due to their lack of bladder and bowel control.
- Happy 70th Birthday, Mom! You’ve seen it all, from the launch of the first-ever computer to foldable smartphone screens and AI. You’ve probably lived in the most significant era before robots started to take over the world. So on that note, be proud to have lived during such an incredible time and enjoy every last minute of this joyous day.
- I think I just heard something break in the other room. Ahh, no, wait, that was just the sound of your knees cracking when you got off the couch. Happy 70th Birthday, you old fogey. Let me know if you need me to pick up some oil from the hardware store to grease those joints.
- Every year Dad sends me the same old text the day before your Birthday – “don’t forget to pick up Mom’s birthday card.” You would think that, by now, he could remember to do this one thing; I mean, it’s only once a year! So, this year I pulled the Uno reverse card on my wonderful father and asked him to get you a card from me. Good thing I already got you this card. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have got one from me or him.
- Happy 70th Birthday Mom! I would have matched the number of candles with your age, but you probably would have fainted while trying to blow them all out. Have a wonderful birthday, and enjoy another year of good health, love, and laughter.
- Happy 70th Birthday Mom. We’ve decided to leave out the birthday bumps this year to avoid the risk of broken hips and dislocated joints. How about we eat some birthday cake instead and keep both feet on the ground?
- Dear Mom, I bought you anti-aging cream for your birthday gift. If used correctly, we’ll be celebrating your 60th again one year from now. Let me know if there’s any leftover; I wouldn’t mind celebrating my 21st again, to be honest.
- Happy Birthday Mom. Having me is the one thing you, fortunately, can’t undo. So you may as well suck it up and drown your sorrows with some celebratory champagne and prepare for many more years of annoyance and disruption from yours truly. I guess you could call me that rare gift that just keeps on giving.
Heartfelt Birthday Wishes for Mom’s 70th
- Wishing you a very happy 70th birthday, Mom! Hope you enjoy celebrating this milestone and have a wonderful time surrounded by your nearest and dearest. Sending you all of our love and many happy returns.
- You’ve strived to provide a better life for us all your life. Now it’s time to dump those chores, move your foot off the pedal, and take a well-deserved break. Why don’t you enjoy a nice massage and relaxing spa day, courtesy of Dad, obviously, while we get on with all the jobs you used to do around the house.
- Happy 70th Birthday to our beautiful mother, the most outstanding woman to grace the face of the Earth. Hope you have a wonderful day filled with fruitful blessings and a scrumptious cake.
- To our sweet Mom on this fabulously special occasion. The sun shines brighter every day that you’re alive, filling our hearts with love and light with everything you do. Wishing you a very long life with plenty more wonderful memories and all the happiness that an amazing woman like you deserves. Have an extraordinary 70th birthday, and celebrate to your heart’s content.
- Wishing a very happy birthday to our beloved mother. Thank you for all of the priceless knowledge you have passed on to me and for helping me to get back on track whenever I have gone astray. Have the most joyous day that the greatest mother rightly deserves.
- To our dear mother, If we were to describe you as a car, you would most likely be a Rolls Royce Phantom. A true classic with pure elegance that never goes out of style.
- To my Mom, my best friend and the sweetest person I know. You’re truly a wonderful woman and an inspiration to our whole family. Happy 70th Birthday to the most loving mother to grace God’s green Earth.
- Wishing a fabulous birthday to my dearest Mom. The endless love and devotion you have blessed me with my entire life have helped me grow into the fine young person you see in front of you today. I would feel grateful to have become half the person you are today by the time I am your age.
- Happy 70th Birthday Mom. I hope my kids enjoy childhood as much as I did having a special mum like you. I know if I can be half the person you were while I was growing up, they’ll be the happiest children alive. Best wishes to the most loving mother and grandmother around.
- Happy 70th Birthday, Mom! We hope Dad spoils you rotten and ensures you have a birthday filled with joy and lots of laughs. Sending you a thousand hugs, cuddles, and kisses!
Inspiring 70th Birthday Wishes for Mom
- Life’s a game, and it’s very similar to those high-striker hammer games at the fairground. The harder you hit, the higher your score, and you aim to get to 100. If the hammer represents you and the strike pad represents life, the more you put in, the more you get out. So, keep smashing through life, Mom, don’t stop now. Keep going strong and give it your all because all you need is 30 more points, and you’ve won!
- Dear Mom, if you’ve been feeling a little uneasy about turning 70 and feeling like you’re at an old age, take a look at all these folks who are all past 70 and still kicking butt: Cyndi Lauper, Pierce Brosnan, Hulk Hogan, Chaka Khan, Isabella Rossellini, Sharon Osbourne, Mr. T and David “The Hoff” Hasselhoff. I could keep listing names all day, but my point is that you have many years of good health, happiness, and strength ahead of you.
- Happy 70th Birthday to my very own Superwoman! Thank you for your love and protection and all the fires you’ve put out for me over the years…many of which I started! Stay strong, stay happy, and let us shower you with our love on this very special Birthday!
- A French lady named Jeanne Calment lived till she was 122 and is the oldest person to have lived on record. In just 52 more years to go, Mom, you’ll be the new world record holder! You’re already more than halfway there.
- Turning 70 marks a long life full of wondrous escapades and fascinating tales. You’ve lived such a fantastic life and built so many marvelous memories. We hope you keep creating more beautiful moments and wish you good health, strength, and love for countless years ahead. Have a wonderful birthday, Mom.
- A person’s life is not measured by the years they have lived but by the experiences they have lived through. Your entire life has been filled with adventure and many exhilarating moments, and we hope that things continue this way for years to come.
Did you find something that suits your Mom from the list above?
It doesn’t matter what you go with, as long as you put a little thought into it and pick whatever fits your Mom’s personality. We’re sure she’ll be over the moon to know that you had her in mind on her special day.