27 Best 70th Birthday Wishes For Dad

The bond between a child and a father is truly unique. No matter what shape, size, or age, great dads are often celebrated as their kid’s number one superhero and first role model.

At 70, your Dad will probably be quite happy to hang up his cape and relax now, content that his mission of raising you has been successfully completed.

Something as small as a thoughtful wish tailored to the man himself can go a long way in letting him know you are thinking of him on his 70th Birthday.

Take a look at what we’ve put together for you guys below. We’re sure you’ll find just what you’re looking for.

Funny Birthday Wishes For Your Dad’s 70th

1. Thank God it’s finally your 70th Birthday, Dad. I can’t even begin to imagine the countless jokes and innuendos your buddies would have made up if we had celebrated your 69th Birthday with your social circle. Celebrating your 70th seems much more family-friendly.
2. After seventy years, what you consider keeping up with the Jones changes slightly. Instead of comparing designer clothes, new cars, and booze-filled clubbing holidays, it switches to who has the slickest walking stick, the coolest wheelchair, and which over 70s all-inclusive cruises you’ll be going on. Same game, different items.
3. Dear Mother, I think Dad needs some new reading glasses. When you asked us to send an e-gift to him for his Birthday from your email address, he misread the birthday message as “birthday massage,” hence why he keeps asking you when he can have that backrub you promised him. Sorry for the inconvenience, but we can’t get you out of this one.
4. Dear Dad, if there’s one thing you’ve taught me in the 70 years you’ve been alive, it’s that when words fail, there is always beer. And if beer fails…whiskey and wine should do the trick. This works for so many situations, very philosophical, I must say – you’re a modern-day Socrates!
5. Happy 70th Birthday, Dad. Such an amazing person deserves only the finest things in life. I am still working on paying for such things to compensate you for all the happiness and support you have given me, but first, I must settle my debt with the Bank of Dad. I also have an outstanding debt with the Bank of Mom. I’ll let you know once I’ve consolidated these and paid off the remaining balance. Then, I’ll get to buying you those finer things. In the meantime, please enjoy some birthday cake you inadvertently paid for.

Cheeky 70th Birthday Wishes For Dad

6. Happy 70th Birthday, Dad; I hope you understand that you’ve just unlocked a new level in life – the expert level. Here are the unique perks that come with your upgrade:

• You can now sleep wherever you like, whenever you want, and for however long you want without being called a lazy bum, 
• You can start wearing diapers again, like when you were a baby, so you don’t even have to get up to use the toilet and miss precious minutes of your TV shows. 
• You can order people around and ask them to do practically anything for you. If they don’t, they are technically neglecting the needs of a senior.
• Miss social events you don’t want to attend without an explanation, and when asked about it later, you can say your bad memory got the best of you.

Considering all the above, turning 70 sounds like a good deal if you ask me!

7. Happy 70th Birthday Dad! I know you thought we were whispering when we sang Happy Birthday to you, but I can assure you that half the neighborhood heard us singing at the top of our lungs. I’m no audiologist, but it might be time to change the batteries in your hearing aid.  
8. Happy 70th Birthday, Dad! You know that old saying, “Age is just a number” Well, funny story, so is the speed limit, haha! The limit was 30, and I felt I was still at 20 but closer to 40. On that note, can I borrow 80 bucks? Also, what else is just a number – Money. So, I’ll give you $60 back as soon as I get paid. Thanks.  
9. Happy 70th Birthday, you relic! The museum called earlier and asked when they could collect you for their newly discovered ancient artifacts exhibition. Congratulations! You’ve finally created history, Dad!
10. Happy Birthday, Dad! You know you’re old when you gain more excitement from napping than going to a bar at happy hour. Have a wonderful day.
11. Happy 70th Birthday, Dad! It’s beautiful to see that our sweet mother is still putting up with your shenanigans after so many years. She is a wonderful woman with much patience to understand such a complex and unpredictable individual as yourself. May God bless you with many more years of company from our sweet Mom because if she leaves, only the Lord knows where you will end up!

Heartfelt Birthday Wishes For Your Dad’s 70th

12. There’s not a single thing that compares to spending precious time with you, Dad. Especially on your 70th Birthday, creating wonderful memories with you and our beautiful family that we’ll look back on with laughter and joy for many years. Now, let’s bring out the birthday cake and have a wonderful day celebrating this very special occasion.
13. The great life you created for us is a testament to your amazing nature and being the magnificent father we know. All the life lessons you have taught us are all small gems of wisdom you have gathered during your life, and we are so lucky you have handed these down to us.
14. You have worked away tirelessly all your life to make sure our family experiences all the happiness possible. We hope that today, you can relax and find solace in knowing that you have outdone yourself to deserve the title of the world’s best father. We hope you have a smashing 70th Birthday, Dad. Thanks for being the most special person in our lives.
15. Not a single day goes by without me thinking about the myriad of wonderful memories and all the wonderful times we’ve enjoyed together since my young age. We’ve laughed, cried, and created a history that can’t be erased. I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be today than right here next to you, celebrating this very special Birthday. Happy 70th Birthday to my dear friend and the best father to ever walk this Earth!

70th Birthday Wishes For Dad Filled With Inspiration

16. Happy 70th Birthday to my dearest father. Achieving the age of seventy is a divine gift with which only the most fortunate are blessed. You should feel proud to be in such good health and consider this day a uniquely special moment in your glorious life.
17. For many, a 70th birthday marks a special day and a turning point. However, you have had such an eventful life for the past 7 decades, so today is just another milestone to add to your long list. All your energy and lust for life make you a relentless rare breed, so I know you have a long life full of new escapades ahead of you.
18. Have a great birthday, Dad. You’ve already had such an eventful life, but you still have a long life ahead of you filled with many exciting surprises. Who knows what tomorrow holds? All I know is that, with God’s divine blessing and your gratitude for being alive, every day will count as a special occasion for you.  
19. Dear Dad, some people might tell you that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks and, now that you’re seventy years old, you should take it easy and slow down. Research shows that doing the exact opposite could be much more beneficial for you in numerous ways and will keep you in good health for much longer than you might have thought. With that said, why not treat your 70th Birthday as a new lease on life and a fresh opportunity to chase all your dreams that you didn’t have time to pursue in your earlier life?
20. To be in such good health mentally, physically, and spiritually at 70 is truly something to feel proud of. You’ve overcome many obstacles in your long life, and you’re looking stronger than ever, regardless of age. We wish you a wonderful day and a tremendously happy life for many weeks, months, and years to come.

Birthday Wishes From Daughter to Dad

21. Dear Daddy, Happy 70th Birthday. Even though I’m all grown up now, I want you to know I’ll always be your little princess, no matter how old I am. You’re my best friend and the sweetest person I know, and I hope I have brought you as much happiness in your life as you have to mine. 
22. Happy 70th Birthday, Dad. The wonderful woman I am today reflects all the energy, hard work, and time you have dedicated to raising me the right way. I pray that you receive all of God’s divine blessings for being the best father I could have wished for and all the joy you have brought to my life.
23. To my first and only hero and best friend, my dear Daddy. Since a very young age, you have made my entire life so blissful, being the wonderful father that you are. Your unique nature and unconditional love have helped me grow from the luckiest child into an outstanding woman I could not have become without your constant support and guidance. You’re the most inspiring person I have ever known, and I wish you a very happy 70th birthday.

Birthday Wishes From Son to Dad

24. Arnold Schwarzenegger might have played the role of a bad-ass superhero in his classic movie, “the last action hero,” but I think that more credit is deserved to the real-life, first and only hero in my life – You, my dear Dad, who has rescued me countless times protected me from when I was born, right the way into adult life. Thank you for being such a wonderful father, an awesome caretaker, and my idol. Happy 70th Birthday, Dad.
25. Dear Dad, for my entire life, I have watched you put blood, sweat, and tears into achieving all of your dreams, and no matter what life throws at you, you persevered every single time. I’ve lost count of the valuable lessons I’ve learned from being by your side, and it has genuinely made me the person I am today. I am so proud to call myself your Son.
26. Happy Birthday, Dad! I came up with a new side hustle last night; it was astonishing. I remembered they’re doing a 2-for-1 senior citizens discount at the local pizza place. We can buy a load of pizzas, re-sell them using a burner account on TikTok or Instagram for a couple of dollars less than the pizza place, and voila! We’re in the green! What better way to celebrate your 70th Birthday than to start a new online business with your genius son? Please don’t say I don’t ever bring anything to the table. 
27. A Dad’s 70th birthday calls for a grand celebration. Especially when you have a son like yours. If you thought we would sit around singing “Kumbaya” with an early finish at 7 pm, sorry, Dad, but you were sadly mistaken. If there was ever a time that you should let your child convince you to do something, it’s this precise moment. I’ve got a full tank of gas, a wallet stuffed with cash, and a bottle of tequila with your name in my trunk. Now tell me, are you ready for an epic day?

Conclusion

So, what did you go for? A bit of a tear-jerker straight from the heart or a few inspirational words to lift your Dad’s spirits? Or maybe you went for something that will have him crying with laughter or throwing a slipper at you for being a cheeky old so-and-so.

Either way, we hope you found the right 70th birthday wishes for Dad and his personality. We have no doubt that this alone will warm his heart more than you might think.